Communicating Beyond Words: What Non-Verbal Kids Teach Us

Many parents of non-verbal kids worry. I understand the struggle. Our modern society is geared toward a certain way of being and interacting in the world. The world is so loud and dictating sometimes, it sees difference as a shortcoming.

But what if it weren’t?

My Gift with Non-Verbal Communication

As a neurodivergent person, I have always had “weird” gifts and capacities, ones I thought were wrong for most of my life because they didn’t fit the norm. One of those gifts is my ability to communicate without words.

I perceive the language of trees, oceans, animals, babies. I sense people’s thoughts, even when they don’t match the words coming out of their mouths. I can “talk to” everything and know things instantaneously.

In a world where loudness dictates, these capacities were seen as abnormal. But over the years I realized the underlying language of all things is energy. And energy is my first language, just as it is for many autistic (and non-autistic) children.

This is why I feel so natural with babies, animals, and non-verbal kids. With them, I am not at a loss. What it takes is presence, curiosity, and a willingness to receive, with a dash of creativity.

Stories from My Work with Children

When I first started offering expressive arts workshops for children and families, I noticed something beautiful: non-verbal children were drawn to my classes. Parents were often apologetic about bringing them. Yet, to me, their children communicated clearly, sometimes even more clearly than adults.

One three-year-old, who became a 1:1 client, stands out. His parents worried he was “behind”, he didn’t use words, had regular meltdowns, and was sensitive to sound, light, and environment. His mother, with so much love, asked: “Is something wrong with my child?”

What I discovered was something entirely different.

• He could perceive the physical world with uncanny accuracy, almost like a physicist predicting the movement of objects before they fell.

• He deeply understood language, when my words matched my energy.

• After one month of play sessions, he began speaking in simple sentences, bringing his mother to tears of joy.

I also taught his parents a simple but powerful tool: giving him a mental or visual “download” of what his day would look like.* This eased his meltdowns dramatically. And when we introduced a peer into his play, he quickly grew curious, then joyful, then bonded, discovering the beauty of shared play and language, verbal or not.

A Different Possibility for Parents and Educators

Each child is unique. What may appear as a developmental problem may, in truth, be an undiscovered capacity. It is not about blaming parents or teachers—it is about asking new questions.

So I invite you:

• Let go of doubt, guilt, and judgment.

• Ask: What else is possible here?

• Be present, calm, and curious.

When received with wonder, these children come alive. “Unmanageable” behaviors, often coping mechanisms of gifted children feeling misunderstood, begin to soften.

True patience is not forcing a child into a box. True patience is peaceful presence that doesn’t make wrong. From that place, you may discover gifts you could have never imagined.

✨ If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear what you notice when you try being present in this way with the children in your life.

*For more information about this tool, check out the book “Would You Teach a Fish To Climb A Tree” by Anne Maxwell.