When Closeness Feels Scary—And You Don’t Want to Lose Yourself Again
There comes a moment in connection—especially when something beautiful begins to shimmer—
when fear shows up dressed as logic. And old patterns may come to surface.
You feel a peaceful presence and expansion with someone.
A sense of ease. Possibility. Curiosity.
And then…
your mind starts rushing in to name it, box it, protect you from it.
Wait, what does this mean?
What if I’m falling into the same old story?
What if he’s lying?
What if I give too much?
What if I lose myself again?
I should protect myself. Maybe I’m better off alone.
These thoughts appear smart. They feel like truth.
But most of the time, they are either lies, or truths with lies attached. They loop in your mind and confusion.
And you stop receiving… the pleasure. The contribution. The awareness. You shrink and perhaps become paranoid?
So what’s the antidote?
💠 Presence Over Protection
Sometimes, you’ve changed enough that something different is finally showing up.
But because of what came before—
the past choices, the heartbreak, the suffocation, the self-betrayals—
you begin to project:
This feels exciting and scary. Maybe it’s the same old story.
I’d rather leave than find out I was wrong again.
But when you collapse into projection, you leave the most powerful tool you have:
presence.
Because in presence, you will know.
You don’t need to figure it all out in advance.
You don’t need to race to define it, contain it, or plan its next 10 steps.
You just need to be with it—moment to moment, and be in question.
That’s where the real awareness, the clarity live.
When you begin to trust yourself, you can enjoy the beauty of the moment, without giving yourself up, like you used to.
What If There Were No Gaps—Only Space?
The world teaches us to panic in the pause.
To fill every quiet moment with explanation.
To rush in and control what isn’t yet clear.
But what if… instead of gaps, we created space?
Space to breathe.
Space to observe.
Space to let something reveal its true nature.
Trusting yourself that…
if a connection is expansive, you can allow it to grow.
And if it isn’t—awareness will come, gently and clearly, when you’re present enough to notice.
Presence isn’t passive.
It’s a dynamic co-creation with all of life.
And it will facilitate you better than any mental story ever could.
Let It Breathe—Let It Live
One of the most loving things you can do—for yourself and for a connection—is to let it breathe.
Let it have its own rhythm.
Its own unfolding.
Let it live.
This doesn’t mean being choiceless. It means being present while allowing the space between you to stretch, shift. While being so present with you.
When you’re not gripping or rushing, you create the space to ask yourself:
What would I truly like to have?
What feels nourishing and easeful to me?
What kind of dynamic lights me up and makes me feel free?
The trick is: don’t rush to decide if it has to be with this person.
Instead, get clear on what you’d like to create.
Start becoming the energy of that future.
Live it now. Be it now.
When you do this, you become an invitation to those who are ready to meet you in it.
If it’s this person?
They will begin to rise, receive, and respond to that energy—naturally. (Though it may not show up the way you think it will)
And if it’s not them? Or they’ re not ready or willing at this time?
Then you’ve just opened the space to others who are ready and willing to create the adventure you and your body are truly asking for.
What if nobody was wrong?
What if no one needed to be fixed or convinced?
What if we could let people choose—and see clearly what they are choosing?
You’re not here to control or cling.
You’re here to choose and to invite.
To become the space where something sweet can grow and where you can keep glowing. Regardless of what other people choose.
What if it didn’t have to be complicated?
What if the softest path—presence, choice, space—was the most powerful one of all?
When Fear Arises—What You Can Become
Now, when fear arises—when the urge to overthink or run flares up—here’s what you can become instead:
🌿 1. Become Spacious
Let silence breathe. Let pauses be. Induce more space.
Don't rush to fix or fill the space.
Just stay open. And go do the things that light you up.
Not as a strategy. But as an honouring of yourself. Become the energy of what you’d like to have.
💫 2. Become Invitation, Not Expectation
Let go of needing to know what this is right away. Let awareness land softly in its own rhythm, like a butterfly on your sun kissed shoulder.
In the mean time, get the energy of what you’d like to have in your life, become the energy of “I’m here. No pressure. Just presence.”
That’s where real intimacy finds its way in. Whether it is through a person, or not, what if you let the universe be your match-maker? Not just with a lover but with all the beautiful things the Universe would like to gift to you?
🔥 3. Become the Flame, Not the Grip
You are the glow, not the grab.
You are the warmth he wants to move toward. Continue being you. Joy and radiance are more magnetic than fear and control.
And if he doesn’t respond to your invitation? Continue being you, anyways. Beautiful things will find their way to you.
🕊️ 5. Listen to Your Body
Check in with it often:
“Body, what do you know? Body, what do you require?”
“What would be light and spacious right now?”
Let it lead. The body always knows.
🌀 6. When the Urge Is to Shut Down or Run
You’re not wrong for wanting to protect yourself.
But you may no longer need to.
Place your hand on your body and ask:
“What is the awareness here? Is there something I need to pay attention to?
Don’t override the awareness. Be with it.
Lower down your mental, emotional, energetic barriers.
Outlast the fear, one breath longer.
One moment past your old patterns.
That’s where a new possibility begins to bloom.
You may have betrayed yourself in the past by overriding awareness. Know, you get to know what you know. And that, my friend, is gold.
✨ My Secret Recipe: Receiving Like a Queen
Here’s the quiet magic I return to again and again:
When I know what I’d like to have,
I don’t cling to one person or one path.
I don’t put all my dreams into one container.
Instead—
I ask the universe to deliver it to me
in a million delightful ways
I haven’t even imagined yet.
Because the universe is creative and generative.
Because I am creative and generative.
Because living is an evolving, enchanted experiment in expansion.
I know that nature is always here for me.
The sun. The wind. The earth. The animals.
Their love is unconditional, and it meets me where I am.
And if people show up to meet my call?
To gift and receive?
To contribute, play and create with me?
What a delicious plot twist!
So I ask:
What more can I receive?
Who or what else can I receive from that I’ve rejected before?
But I remind myself to not cling. To not rush to maintain things. Instead, allow things to flow. And be ok with change. Because, the Earth is my lover.
True receiving is not choicelessness or becoming a doormat.
It’s not waiting.
It’s living joyfully.
It’s being willing to receive all the awareness,
without judgment—
and choosing what works for me, moment by moment.
“What works for me? Truth, what do I really desire? Truth, what really works for me here?
From this space, Ask the universe:
Show me.
How does it get even better than this?
🌹 A New Invitation
If this blog post has stirred something in you, but you have no idea where to start, start where you are.
It starts with a longing—a question whispered through your body:
What I have created so far isn’t working any more. What else is possible?
So if you’re in that place…
where the old is falling away
but the new hasn’t fully taken root yet—
and you’re asking for something different…
more nourishing, more spacious, more real—
I’d love to walk with you.
Let’s work together.
You can book a private session or coaching series to explore what else is possible for you.
Because you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Because you are allowed to have what you truly would like to have.
Because there are possibilities that only you can embody on this Earth.
Is now the time?
