When Intimacy Feels Scary—But You Don’t Want to Run This Time

A love note for when intimacy begins to deepen

There comes a moment in connection—especially when something beautiful begins to shimmer—
when fear shows up dressed as logic.

You feel a peaceful presence and expansion with someone.
A sense of ease. Possibility. Curiosity.
And then…
your mind starts rushing in to name it, box it, protect you from it.

What if I’m falling into the same old story?
What if he’s lying?
What if I give too much?
What if I lose myself again?
I should protect myself. Maybe I’m better off alone.

These thoughts appear smart. They feel like truth.
But most of the time, they’re just fear and judgement disguised as wisdom.

💠 Presence Over Protection

Sometimes, you’ve changed enough that something different is finally showing up.
But because of what came before—
the past choices, the heartbreak, the suffocation, the self-betrayals—
you begin to project:

This feels exciting and scary. Maybe it’s the same old story.
I’d rather leave than find out I was wrong again.

But when you collapse into projection, you leave the most powerful tool you have:
presence.

Because in presence, you will know.
You don’t need to figure it all out in advance.
You don’t need to race to define it, contain it, or plan its next 10 steps.

You just need to be with it—moment to moment, and be in question.
That’s where the real clarity lives.

This isn’t about heading toward a destination.
It’s about choosing joyful movement that creates expansion.

🌌 What If There Were No Gaps—Only Space?

The world teaches us to panic in the pause.
To fill every quiet moment with explanation.
To rush in and control what isn’t yet clear.

But what if… instead of gaps, we created space?

Space to breathe.
Space to observe.
Space to let something reveal its true nature.

Trusting yourself that…

if a connection is expansive, you will allow it to grow.
And if it isn’t—awareness will come, gently and clearly, when you’re present enough to notice.

Presence isn’t passive.
It’s a dynamic co-creation with all of life.
And it will facilitate you better than any mental story ever could.

🌾 Let It Breathe—Let It Live

One of the most loving things you can do—for yourself and for a connection—is to let it breathe.

Let it have its own rhythm.
Its own unfolding.
Let it live.

This doesn’t mean being choiceless. It means being present while allowing the space between you to stretch, shift, and show you something real.

When you’re not gripping or rushing, you create the space to ask yourself:

What would I truly like to have?
What feels nourishing and easeful to me?
What kind of dynamic lights me up and makes me feel free?

The trick is: don’t rush to decide if it has to be this person (or that it can’t be this person).
Instead, get clear on what you desire to create.
Start becoming the energy of that future.
Live it now. Be it now.

When you do this, you become an invitation to those who are ready to meet you in it.

If it’s this person?
They will begin to rise, receive, and respond to that energy—naturally.
And if it’s not them? Or they’ re not ready or willing at this time?
Then you’ve just opened the space to others who are ready and willing to create the adventure you and your body are truly asking for.

What if nobody was wrong?
What if no one needed to be fixed or convinced?
What if we could let people choose—and see clearly what they are choosing?

You’re not here to control or cling.
You’re here to choose and to invite.
To become the space where something sweet can grow and where you can keep glowing.

What if it didn’t have to be complicated?
What if the softest path—presence, choice, space—was the most powerful one of all?

🌊 When Fear Arises—What You Can Become

Now, when fear arises—when the urge to overthink or run flares up—here’s what you can become instead:

🌿 1. Become Spacious

Let silence breathe. Let pauses be. Induce more space.
Don't rush to fix or fill the space.
Just stay open. And go do the things that light you up.

Not as a strategy. But as an honouring of yourself. Become the one you’d like to invite.

💫 2. Become Invitation, Not Expectation

Let go of needing to know what this is.
Become the energy of “I’m here. No pressure. Just presence.”

That’s where real intimacy finds its way in.

🔥 3. Become the Flame, Not the Grip

You are the glow, not the grab.
You are the warmth he wants to move toward. Continue being you.
Joy and radiance are more magnetic than fear and control.

🌙 4. Become the Mirror of Now

If awkwardness or pulling away shows up, name it gently. Make it playful, not hurtful or judgy. Be with the energy that is here now:

“Funny how quiet we just got—I like how present it feels.”
“Hey, I just need to have a silly dance to shake things off. Wanna join?.”

When we don’t resist anything, everything can be transformed into more intimacy.

🕊️ 5. Listen to Your Body

Check in with it often:

“Body, what do you know? Body, what do you require?”
“What would be light and spacious right now?”

Let it lead. The body always knows.

🌀 6. When the Urge Is to Shut Down or Run

You’re not wrong for wanting to protect yourself.
But you may no longer need to.

Place your hand on your body and ask:

“What is the awareness here? Is there something I need to pay attention to? Or

Don’t override the awareness. Be with it.

Lower down your mental, emotional, energetic barriers.

If it is joy that you are resisting, don’t judge yourself. Allow yourself to be where you are at, until you can receive more.

Outlast the fear, one breath longer.
One moment past your old patterns.
That’s where a new possibility begins to bloom.

You may have betrayed yourself in the past by overriding awareness. Know, you get to know what you know. And that, my friend, is gold.

✨ My Secret Recipe: Receiving Like a Queen

Here’s the quiet magic I return to again and again:

When I know what I’d like to have,
I don’t cling to one person or one path.
I don’t put all my dreams into one container.

Instead—
I ask the universe to deliver it to me
in a million delightful ways
I haven’t even imagined yet.

Because the universe is creative and generative.
Because I am creative and generative.
Because living is an evolving, enchanted experiment in expansion.

I know that nature is always here for me.
The sun. The wind. The earth. The animals.
Their love is unconditional, and it meets me where I am.

And if people show up to meet my call?
To gift and receive?
To contribute, play and create with me?

What a delicious plot twist.

So I ask:

What more can I receive?
Who or what else can I receive from that I’ve rejected before?

True receiving is not choicelessness or becoming a doormat.
It’s not waiting.
It’s living joyfully.
It’s being willing to receive all the awareness,
without judgment—
and choosing what works for me, moment by moment.

The pragmatic questions are often the most overlooked, buried under drama:

“What works for me? Will this work for me? Will what works for me work for him?”

If yes, celebrate. If no, celebrate that, too.

From this space, Ask the universe:

Show me.
How does it get even better than this?

🌹 A New Invitation

If this blog post has stirred something in you, but you have no idea where to start, start where you are.

I, too, am on this ever-unfolding journey myself.
While I didn’t get here overnight, I can tell you this:
It started with a longing—a question whispered through my body:

What I have created so far isn’t working any more. What else is possible?

So if you’re in that place…
where the old is falling away
but the new hasn’t fully taken root yet—
and you’re asking for something different…
more nourishing, more spacious, more real—
I’d love to walk with you.

Let’s work together.
You can book a private session or coaching series to explore what else is possible for you.

Because you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Because there are possibilities that only you can embody on this Earth.

Is now the time?